Relationship Reflection

Relationships are important to me because they are the foundation of life itself!  While I do not have a very large circle of friends, I have a large family and colleagues that are important to me and have big impacts on my life.  My boys are the most important people in my life.  Everything I do every single day is for them.  I wake up every morning looking forward to seeing their smiles, and I watch them sleep at night with tears in my eyes because time is going by too fast and they are growing up too soon!  Relationships are important because you cannot do everything on your own.  You need people you can trust to reach out to when needed.  In my opinion, you need 1 person in your life that you can trust 100%; someone who always has your best interest at heart and would never do anything to hurt you.  For me, its my Dad. The smartest, bravest, patient, loving, and most wonderful man I know.

There are several obvious relationships that that I have to include my husband, my 4 sons, and  my parents and siblings.  It is no surprise that these are important to me.  The not-so-obvious ones are my mother-in-law and my sons' preschool teachers, special education teachers and therapists.  These are the ones I want to focus on in this posting.

My mother-in-law, Iris moved in with us a couple months ago.  Prior to that, I have only seen her a couple times a year since we got married in 2006.  I spoke to her a lot over the phone, but in person visits were limited to 2 or 3 a year.  Iris and I get a long very well.  There were time when she called just to speak to me.  I believe we maintain a good relationship because I let her talk and actively listen.  She had been in a very long marriage where her husband never listened and never let her express herself.  No that she is living with us and is free to do whatever and say whatever she wants, she really just needs someone to listen.  That is what I do.  In addition, she loves my boys more than life itself so were are always talking and planning things for them.  I ask her to be an active part of their lives (especially since she lives with us now) and I know she appreciates it.  I make sure that I always include her in all of our family plans/trips and let her tell me if and when she does not want to go.  The key is to make her feel wanted and needed.  I am very happy that she is with us.

I try to maintain relationships with my sons' preschool teachers.  I make a point to talk to them every day when we pick them up to see how the boys day went and share any information I think they need to know.  I also call once a day to check in on the boys to see how things are going.  I can let the teachers know if they had a bad night or morning which helps them judge and react to the boys attitudes during the day.  They share with me information about the class projects and themes of the week so that I can engage the boys at home to keep up with what they are doing at school.

With the boys' therapists, I typically keep in contact with them via email and we meet a couple times a year to go over current and new IEPs.  If I have any questions or concerns, I email them and they immediately respond.  That immediate response is wonderful!  It keeps everything in real-time and allows us to address issues and concerns in a timely manner.

The challenges to maintaining the relationships with the teachers and therapists is that we mostly correspond via email.  Many things get lost in translation (so to speak) or interpreted incorrectly through email.  I much prefer face to face meetings because we can all focus on the topic at hand versus trying to multi-task. Even a phone call maintains better interaction versus email.  I believe that in order to maintain a good relationship and build a partnership, you must have more face to face meetings.  We have to make it personal instead of hiding behind the key board.

I believe my ability to be an active listener and ability to show empathy will be a great asset as I work in the childhood profession.  The most important thing I have learned about relationships and partnerships is that you have to make it personal.  You have to have a vested interest and dedicate time, energy and effort to maintain and building them.  Notes and emails are a quick way to let folks know you are thinking about them or to express an idea, but you have to force yourself to take the time to meet with people.  This is almost a foreign concept in today's high-tech world.  Get out from behind the screen, stop texting, and take the time to look people in the eye and let them know you care.