My Connections to Play

“We are never more fully alive, more completely ourselves, or more deeply engrossed in anything, than when we are at play.”
― Charles Schaefer

"Play is our brain's favorite way of learning."

Diane Ackerman
Contemporary American author

 

 

 

My favorite thing to play as a kid was school.  I was always the teacher and my cousins, little sister, and Grandma were the students.  That was the best part...Grandma would do anything we asked her to do and play any game we wanted.  Poor thing...we used to make her wear the "dunce hat" and sit in the corner.  She did it every time and never once complained.  

Grandma loved playing with us and would play for hours on end.  She encouraged us to play all the time.  Whether we were playing school, putting on fashion and talent shows, or playing hide and seek, she always participated.  She'd cheer when we sang, told us how beautiful we were when we dressed up in her night gowns (with her Christmas tree tinsel as boas), and chased us through the house as we hid from her.  She would play football in the house with my brother.  They broke just about every lamp she had and when my mom tried to yell at my brother, she would yell at her!  She'd defend us to the ground and threaten to beat my mom if she touched us.  My siblings and cousins spent a lot of time at her house.  The more, the merrier!  At times, there would be 8 of us in bed with her as she told ghost stories.

Looking back, those were the happiest days of my childhood.  Grandma's house was the best place to be.  You were loved unconditionally and allowed to be whomever or whatever you wanted to be (as long as you were safe!).

Play today is so much different now than it was when I was a child.  We did not have PlayStations and IPads to occupy our time.  We were forced to use our imagination and invent games to play (like Witch in the Well...a favorite of ours as kids).  We played outside all the time in the summer and had to be forced to come in when it got dark.  Now, kids rarely play outside unless it is participating in an organized sport.  One of the reasons my boys do not play outside is because I do not feel that they are safe.  Even when I am outside with them, I am constantly worried about the inconsiderate people who drive down our street at high speeds.  I can't let them play in our back yard along for fear that someone will kidnap them.  I feel like I need to have eyes on them at all times.  I often wonder if things are really more dangerous now or are incidents reported more often?
 

Looking back, my parents let me ride my bike all over town by myself!  I'd be gone all day with no contact with them.  There were no cell phones or tracking devices.  What were they thinking??  

I think that play is one of the most important things in life!  My husband and I freely admit that we are both kids at heart and refuse to grow up.  We have fun all the time and we do everything we can to ensure our boys are having fun (sometimes we do things that we think is fun and just hope they think it is fun too!) .  There is nothing more precious than a child's laughter...it can brighten up any room at any given moment.  In my mind, you only live once so make it the happiest time possible!

Relationship Reflection

Relationships are important to me because they are the foundation of life itself!  While I do not have a very large circle of friends, I have a large family and colleagues that are important to me and have big impacts on my life.  My boys are the most important people in my life.  Everything I do every single day is for them.  I wake up every morning looking forward to seeing their smiles, and I watch them sleep at night with tears in my eyes because time is going by too fast and they are growing up too soon!  Relationships are important because you cannot do everything on your own.  You need people you can trust to reach out to when needed.  In my opinion, you need 1 person in your life that you can trust 100%; someone who always has your best interest at heart and would never do anything to hurt you.  For me, its my Dad. The smartest, bravest, patient, loving, and most wonderful man I know.

There are several obvious relationships that that I have to include my husband, my 4 sons, and  my parents and siblings.  It is no surprise that these are important to me.  The not-so-obvious ones are my mother-in-law and my sons' preschool teachers, special education teachers and therapists.  These are the ones I want to focus on in this posting.

My mother-in-law, Iris moved in with us a couple months ago.  Prior to that, I have only seen her a couple times a year since we got married in 2006.  I spoke to her a lot over the phone, but in person visits were limited to 2 or 3 a year.  Iris and I get a long very well.  There were time when she called just to speak to me.  I believe we maintain a good relationship because I let her talk and actively listen.  She had been in a very long marriage where her husband never listened and never let her express herself.  No that she is living with us and is free to do whatever and say whatever she wants, she really just needs someone to listen.  That is what I do.  In addition, she loves my boys more than life itself so were are always talking and planning things for them.  I ask her to be an active part of their lives (especially since she lives with us now) and I know she appreciates it.  I make sure that I always include her in all of our family plans/trips and let her tell me if and when she does not want to go.  The key is to make her feel wanted and needed.  I am very happy that she is with us.

I try to maintain relationships with my sons' preschool teachers.  I make a point to talk to them every day when we pick them up to see how the boys day went and share any information I think they need to know.  I also call once a day to check in on the boys to see how things are going.  I can let the teachers know if they had a bad night or morning which helps them judge and react to the boys attitudes during the day.  They share with me information about the class projects and themes of the week so that I can engage the boys at home to keep up with what they are doing at school.

With the boys' therapists, I typically keep in contact with them via email and we meet a couple times a year to go over current and new IEPs.  If I have any questions or concerns, I email them and they immediately respond.  That immediate response is wonderful!  It keeps everything in real-time and allows us to address issues and concerns in a timely manner.

The challenges to maintaining the relationships with the teachers and therapists is that we mostly correspond via email.  Many things get lost in translation (so to speak) or interpreted incorrectly through email.  I much prefer face to face meetings because we can all focus on the topic at hand versus trying to multi-task. Even a phone call maintains better interaction versus email.  I believe that in order to maintain a good relationship and build a partnership, you must have more face to face meetings.  We have to make it personal instead of hiding behind the key board.

I believe my ability to be an active listener and ability to show empathy will be a great asset as I work in the childhood profession.  The most important thing I have learned about relationships and partnerships is that you have to make it personal.  You have to have a vested interest and dedicate time, energy and effort to maintain and building them.  Notes and emails are a quick way to let folks know you are thinking about them or to express an idea, but you have to force yourself to take the time to meet with people.  This is almost a foreign concept in today's high-tech world.  Get out from behind the screen, stop texting, and take the time to look people in the eye and let them know you care.